am I in trouble?

Yesterday, my cousins came over. Phew, talk about hectic. We were taking some really goofy pictures, recording our voices and playing back chipmunk style and play PS2.We played all day, and it wasn’t until 10:30 pm that I realized I haven’t touched my books. So I hurried to flip abit, studied some of light and its properties as well as electromagnets. Then I checked my handphone, and my cousin messaged me to say that his sister’s iPod mini was going to be mine.

**screams in joy**

Today, they came over again. They’re shifting today, so my aunt and uncle took the convenient option and dropped them over. My cousin brought over the mini as well. Now it’s sitting in my room. It’s pink. Shiny pink. I didn’t scream in front of them though, but at the same time I felt a little guilty. Each of my cousins have a mini(3 in total) given to them by an eccentric rich friend of their dad’s. Since my younger cousin sister’s only 7, he managed to convince them to pass it over to me. Now he’s at tuition from 11 to 5. Sort of pity him…tuition straight, with a lunch break in between.

Generally we did the same stuff yesterday, just that this time Kimberly was here. Which made the chipmunk spirit more lively than yesterday.

And I haven’t touched my books for today either. Will do so later.

First things first, thank my aunt and uncle for giving me the mini.

pork chops for dinner

ROAR!! I could just kick my computer.. I think it’s Azureus. It’s making my computer jam, so bad until I couldn’t update my blog today OR yesterday..So my entry yesterday was actually posted in today..%^*%&$*&$

Went to have seafood for lunch.. XDXD It was great~ but the drive there took about two hours…set off at 11:30 and arrived at 1:30. Had Marmite crab,calamari, prawns and assam fish. Thinking about it makes me drooool. Finished lunch at 3:00 and reached home at 4:00. Then proceeded to study Physics. How time flies. Sadly didn’t make much progress though. Must finish something by today.

Now stuck reading A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. My favourite character is Sidney Carton. He’s a genius, unlike his lookalike Charles Darnay that’s somewhat useless and even worse, steals Lucie Mannette’s heart…Both the men like Lucie, but that useless guy gets her in the end. He was the one that should’ve been sent to the Bastille, in my opinion. It was so nice of Sidney to sacrifice himself for their sake. Nevermind then. I guess that’s how stories are.

ji hui is going to go to Sheffield,England on the 17th September. 5 days after my birthday. I don’t know wether to feel happy or sad. He’s a nice person. He likes yaoi. Both don’t exactly match. But that’s what he is. I’m just wondering wether to give him a going-away present.

book mania

It’s my brother’s birthday..Still a good 50 minutes or so before the stamp with large imprinted letters “irritating 13-year-old” is permanently etched on his forehead. Had a blueberry cheesecake.

Went to the bookstore, and there I saw so many books that I wanted..The price was slightly steep for some, and okay for others. This one particularly caught my attention: The Apologist by Ray Jayner.

The first sentence of the preface read: “I’m so sorry that you bought this book”.

What went through my head then:” I HAVE to buy it.

It reminded me so much of myself. I have this bad habit of apologizing even though it’s not really my fault. And I don’t have subtlety in my words either.

It’s about this reckless reporter who dishes out ghastly and merciless reviews on restaurants. So much so that one of the restaurant’s chefs decides to kill himself. And that’s when he realized, “Maybe I went too far..”..So he decides to apologize. Hard for most people, and somehow, from apologizing for something so trifle, he has been appointed as the National Apologist. My eyes boggled.

Then I saw Jonathan Livingstone Seagull by Richard Bach. I was surpised. Very. My first copy was xeroxed(talk about piracy). In my opinion I could just read this book over and over, and I probably wouldn’t realize it. Like how much I like The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. This book is another inspirational piece, mainly talking about being different from the rest. Being truly joyful because you know what you want to do, you sacrifice for it, and every bit of it was worth it. I can’t really explain it in words. I love it so much I want to give it to someone. Share the joy that I had with this book with them.

love can either make or break a person

it’s friday again..there’s a one-week holiday. stupid thing is there’s all the science exams to sit for after it..so what do we do? what else but study..sigh.

aiori’s pretty heartbroken over lacan. I don’t know what to do cause I don’t have ANY experience in this field whatsoever. I think I never got involved with a guy to be that depressed. So I just told her that in whatever she does, I believe in her. Which I do, and not just some sweet-talk. I wish I could help her, but the reality is it’s entirely up to her… I can tell she still likes lacan, she’s in the middle of regretting her actions. I say since you’ve done it already, just move on. Then again, saying it is one, doing it is another.

So she took it out on pen and paper. She wrote it in fiction. About the three selves in her; aiori,rosette and jilii. Aiori is the happy one, rosette is the serious one, and jilii is there to fill the gaps that the other two couldn’t take. I think it’s pretty creative of her~because it makes interesting reading. Her thoughts spill out via them. I would never write it out, even on paper, even if I’m alone. I guess I have this will that makes me remember what I want to and forget what I want to.

While aiori was unleashing her wrath and anguish on written material, I went to sleep for awhile, then talked to my English teacher. She’s an interesting person. I can’t explain it. Shajaratuddur is one of a kind. Probably because she’s somewhat sarcastic. She continued on by saying I write pretty well, just that it’s cut short. Lacking of something. I was quite surprised. Okay, I didn’t expect her to say it. Then she continued by badmouthing my class attitude, which I’m not surprised either. She hates my class. So does the entire teaching force of the school. The previous teachers were protesting against teaching our class because they knew that their lifespans would shorten drastically if they did. So came a batch that were more of forced out of their will to teach us. Someone HAD to do the dirty job, I guess. I’m not twitching any eyebrows, I expected it.

We crapped for the rest of the day(about another hour before school ended) about lots of things. About life’s prospects. Not that we’re philosophical, but maybe our minds just wandered. Thinking of what we would do in the future, our jobs. Talked about what she’s gonna eat for dinner today; it’s her brother’s farewell party, and they’re having it at Friday’s. Even though her brother’s leaving on Tuesday. Talked about owning a second-floor(reeis suggested a third-floor) studio, a place where we could do everything we wanted, or a place to hang out: in other words, our second home if we didn’t feel like facing reality for awhile. It would be cool- We could draw our stuff there, get pissed drunk there XD, sing, play, dance…whatever~

Gave reeis her present today, who cares if her birthday is next week. She was estatic. I don’t know if she was near tears or anything, but she’s sure happy that we started her off with her very own Sandman collection, her own physical collection about Neil Gaiman’s works that she always drools over during her spare time(or so I’d like to think XD). Wonder if it means it’ll settle her presents for the next, I don’t know, four years? Or would we(aiori and I) settle for something *ahem ahem* less strainful on our wallets?

such immature ideas reside in me

sigh.the inevitable has happened..during the english essay paper my brain refused to work. and thus I wrote about how I fought with my brother cause he was playing with the blardy television remote control…IT’S SO GODDAMN CHILDISH!!! I have this sinking feeling that I’ll get a lame score on that one.

I surprisingly did better for my other essay though. Or so I thought. I stuck to the typical typical content that teachers would look out for. Hopefully I get a decent score.

better spent time than yesterday

Spent the better half of the day at school in the library..not like the teachers are doing anything useful anyway..

My dad’s sick today, so he came home earlier than usual..Pukey and pretty pale complexion don’t light the “I’m fine-let’s work!”button. So he went to the doctor. Down with the fever, but still in good spirits though. I think sleep does wonders in curing. Just now my bro called my dad’s hp. That’s some harsh wake-up call.

Helped him composed a letter to the MPDA president. From there I sorta re-remembered how much he cares for my ngan-ngan..though she’s up There already, I think she’d be happy to know that her son still thinks of her. I don’t remember much of her, I always thought she was really tall and liked to watch those Cantonese serials on rented VHS. I was quite young back then, I guess I was about 4-6 years old. When she woke up from her afternoon naps she would call me into the room and we would watch the Canto serials until it was time for dinner. Occasionally my guama joined in too~ they were THE enthusiasts of the house. I guess that’s why up till now I still remember the re-runs when it’s aired on TV.

Exams start tomorrow with the 2 language subjects- both of which are essay writing..not that I dislike it, but my brain refuses to dish out something nice..Usually I write about something morbid, and I realize it bores. After writing it I realize I’ve made my writing skills look like a child’s. I hate that.

Must remember to think positive.**goes off to make mental note**

雨だ。寒い、だから好きです~

今日はChew先生が退職 する。。この先生は優しいです、ぜんぶ学生たちがアイスクリームを奢る。ヒーヒ!好きです!

one hundred years of solitudeで読破 する。幸せさ~今はなにも読みないです。

明日は学校にいかないなのよ。。。 家に留まる。 期末試験は 翌々日です、それで何も 学ばない。。どうしようかな。。

gloomy skies

YAY! I finally have the official scans for the FFX-2 piano collections! But I have no time to play them =_=

The librarian installation was yesterday, and it was probably the most informal of all events I went to this year. We were laughing at the emcee’s(twin eggheads) mistakes and rudeness towards the seniors(not like many came anyway…exams are next wednesday) and we generally had fun. It was a pretty short event, we were done by 12. Music was courtesy of Nelson Wong, the bugger burnt some of the FFX-2 PC tracks..I think ALL the tracks were ranging from FF7-FFX-2. Oh well.

Got a souvenir too..It says “Garden of Knoledge”..note the spelling error. But it looked nice anyway, despite the fact of it being done by 3 guys..no names mentioned.

This morning was late to taekwondo..バカ兄ちゃん was so slow in getting up. Doing reverse swing 16 times continuous made my head spin, and immediately after sparring with attacker doing turning kicks only and defender block-punch is so pathetic..but useful for close-range. Hate doing circuit exercise as it’s damn tiring, but soon after felt more shaken-up XD

After tkd went out to kaikai~walked until my legs ached..and unluckily enough the ac of the mall was not working or something..it was SO HOT in the place..damnit.At the bookstore I wanted to buy Paulo Coelho – Veronika Decides To Die, but no cash..Save that for some other time. Oh, speaking of books, bought Reeis-kun’s present already…2 of Neil Gaiman’s Sandman books, the beginning and the end. It was cheaper than expected due to 30% discount for each book! All that’s left is the wrapping(aiori’s in charge of that) and giving it to her.

Speaking of reeis…aiori’s of the opinion that Ben’s interested in her..We had a good laugh speculating that.

Went to Toys-R-Us and had a good laugh watching this ad on Cadoo. Walking there brought back some memories of me running around the place when I was younger. Saw a clown on the way there..Bet he works for Twinkles.

weary of life

I feel so weary… When I’m in school I long to be out of it, and when I stop going to school I long to be in it. I realize I’m a pretty boring person whose daily scrapes are nothing more than ramblings. I thought I lived for the sake of things I couldn’t be without; my family and friends. In school, I don’t hang about with anyone much, except for some few friends that I think I trust. I don’t know if I actually do or I do so to prevent people from shying away. Would I tire of them when something new pops into my life? I probably wouldn’t know. I would like to feel the joy of solitude, but that troubles people into thinking that I have some weirdo psychological problem. sighhhhhh.

I am a selfish person. I complain, but I don’t stop and take a good look at the surroundings and the people in them. Do I think of others when I do? Do I care of what people think? I think it’s natural that I do, so much so that I have to be extremely careful with what I say to prevent myself from being shunned. I know that a while back I was so relentless and merciless in my manner of speech that it got me into plenty of trouble. Here I thought I was voicing my opinions, but it turned out to be that it wasn’t what people wanted to hear. They preferred lies to the truth, and if carried out to order all the better. Nobody wants to hear what you think. They want to hear what makes them happy. That sounds like the base of all advertisements and commercials on mass media. But then again, there are lawsuits against lying in them. Advertise things that are not in the package, and you get sued. Advertise the truth, and your business goes down the drain.

There is something wrong. I can’t stand the nyo’s and nyuu’s…Online, it’s fine. In life, it’s a tad irritating…Don’t like to tell people off about it cause it results in growing malice. It’s like trying to protray an image that leaves you in disgust. That’s what my mind’s eye saw, anyway. I probably can’t stand the cuteness of it all cause I’ll never be like it. To play along is merely a farce, like being in a green grass field where the sun shines brightly, the wind blows gently and you can spend the days lazing about. No. Reality is about swelting hot suns that can burn your skin,rainy days and purplish night skies that indicate a moody sky the next morning. I guess that’s why television was created, to escape reality. To return to a happy scenery free from abuse.

Crying is an action. Due to happiness, due to disappointment, due to anger and everything else. But crying is good. It’s like washing yourself free. That’s when I would like to break the rules and play about in the rain without caring for others’ angry pleas to return to safety.

An ordinary person, an ordinary life. The anguish of hearing praises of others hurts.”I want to be like that too, but noone sees that”. Or so I think. I guess I don’t need to delve too deeply into things like this as there are more important things to deal with. Don’t sweat the small stuff and things will eventually happen.

crap rehearsal

As usual..the attendance rate was low. On top of that I was forced out of my study time for the first half of the morning for some rehearsal crap. TWO WHOLE HOURS!@%$$^%#!!

It’s just picking up a cert for cripes’ sake. Is there REALLY a need to practice walking and bowing and saying ‘thank you’ when it’s all been drilled into our heads since we could start understanding words?

Oh~the librarian installation’s this saturday..Which means getting my uniform ironed again..It’s in tatters already, due to years of misuse and abuse. There are stiches on the sleeves and splotches of yellow paint(how it got there I don’t really remember). I think I’m gonna miss the librarian board when I leave school… I actually know some of the BOD well enough to mercilessly tease them(most are guys, the girls are nice girls so I don’t pick on them in case they brand me as an evil witch, which I am with the guys) and they’re good company when you have nothing to do. No tears will be shed though, cause I think we’re all happy that a new wave of change is coming into the library. Hopefully the new BOD will make further improvements to the library…It seriously needs some..What about some new air-conditioning, stricter rules and a computerized borrowing/lending system..It helps improve the image of the library, at any rate. And get rid of the glass on the tables..It’s cracked, and I got cut by the &^$& thing.

I managed to study some History, so I can’t say the hours were wasted. I bet no one’s gonna be at school tomorrow, I’m gonna be one heck of lonely. Well then, more hours of solitude. Which also means probably more studies getting done( I pray feverently for this to happen every day)

right then. on with business.