gloomy skies

YAY! I finally have the official scans for the FFX-2 piano collections! But I have no time to play them =_=

The librarian installation was yesterday, and it was probably the most informal of all events I went to this year. We were laughing at the emcee’s(twin eggheads) mistakes and rudeness towards the seniors(not like many came anyway…exams are next wednesday) and we generally had fun. It was a pretty short event, we were done by 12. Music was courtesy of Nelson Wong, the bugger burnt some of the FFX-2 PC tracks..I think ALL the tracks were ranging from FF7-FFX-2. Oh well.

Got a souvenir too..It says “Garden of Knoledge”..note the spelling error. But it looked nice anyway, despite the fact of it being done by 3 names mentioned.

This morning was late to taekwondo..バカ兄ちゃん was so slow in getting up. Doing reverse swing 16 times continuous made my head spin, and immediately after sparring with attacker doing turning kicks only and defender block-punch is so pathetic..but useful for close-range. Hate doing circuit exercise as it’s damn tiring, but soon after felt more shaken-up XD

After tkd went out to kaikai~walked until my legs ached..and unluckily enough the ac of the mall was not working or was SO HOT in the place..damnit.At the bookstore I wanted to buy Paulo Coelho – Veronika Decides To Die, but no cash..Save that for some other time. Oh, speaking of books, bought Reeis-kun’s present already…2 of Neil Gaiman’s Sandman books, the beginning and the end. It was cheaper than expected due to 30% discount for each book! All that’s left is the wrapping(aiori’s in charge of that) and giving it to her.

Speaking of reeis…aiori’s of the opinion that Ben’s interested in her..We had a good laugh speculating that.

Went to Toys-R-Us and had a good laugh watching this ad on Cadoo. Walking there brought back some memories of me running around the place when I was younger. Saw a clown on the way there..Bet he works for Twinkles.

weary of life

I feel so weary… When I’m in school I long to be out of it, and when I stop going to school I long to be in it. I realize I’m a pretty boring person whose daily scrapes are nothing more than ramblings. I thought I lived for the sake of things I couldn’t be without; my family and friends. In school, I don’t hang about with anyone much, except for some few friends that I think I trust. I don’t know if I actually do or I do so to prevent people from shying away. Would I tire of them when something new pops into my life? I probably wouldn’t know. I would like to feel the joy of solitude, but that troubles people into thinking that I have some weirdo psychological problem. sighhhhhh.

I am a selfish person. I complain, but I don’t stop and take a good look at the surroundings and the people in them. Do I think of others when I do? Do I care of what people think? I think it’s natural that I do, so much so that I have to be extremely careful with what I say to prevent myself from being shunned. I know that a while back I was so relentless and merciless in my manner of speech that it got me into plenty of trouble. Here I thought I was voicing my opinions, but it turned out to be that it wasn’t what people wanted to hear. They preferred lies to the truth, and if carried out to order all the better. Nobody wants to hear what you think. They want to hear what makes them happy. That sounds like the base of all advertisements and commercials on mass media. But then again, there are lawsuits against lying in them. Advertise things that are not in the package, and you get sued. Advertise the truth, and your business goes down the drain.

There is something wrong. I can’t stand the nyo’s and nyuu’s…Online, it’s fine. In life, it’s a tad irritating…Don’t like to tell people off about it cause it results in growing malice. It’s like trying to protray an image that leaves you in disgust. That’s what my mind’s eye saw, anyway. I probably can’t stand the cuteness of it all cause I’ll never be like it. To play along is merely a farce, like being in a green grass field where the sun shines brightly, the wind blows gently and you can spend the days lazing about. No. Reality is about swelting hot suns that can burn your skin,rainy days and purplish night skies that indicate a moody sky the next morning. I guess that’s why television was created, to escape reality. To return to a happy scenery free from abuse.

Crying is an action. Due to happiness, due to disappointment, due to anger and everything else. But crying is good. It’s like washing yourself free. That’s when I would like to break the rules and play about in the rain without caring for others’ angry pleas to return to safety.

An ordinary person, an ordinary life. The anguish of hearing praises of others hurts.”I want to be like that too, but noone sees that”. Or so I think. I guess I don’t need to delve too deeply into things like this as there are more important things to deal with. Don’t sweat the small stuff and things will eventually happen.

crap rehearsal

As usual..the attendance rate was low. On top of that I was forced out of my study time for the first half of the morning for some rehearsal crap. TWO WHOLE HOURS!@%$$^%#!!

It’s just picking up a cert for cripes’ sake. Is there REALLY a need to practice walking and bowing and saying ‘thank you’ when it’s all been drilled into our heads since we could start understanding words?

Oh~the librarian installation’s this saturday..Which means getting my uniform ironed again..It’s in tatters already, due to years of misuse and abuse. There are stiches on the sleeves and splotches of yellow paint(how it got there I don’t really remember). I think I’m gonna miss the librarian board when I leave school… I actually know some of the BOD well enough to mercilessly tease them(most are guys, the girls are nice girls so I don’t pick on them in case they brand me as an evil witch, which I am with the guys) and they’re good company when you have nothing to do. No tears will be shed though, cause I think we’re all happy that a new wave of change is coming into the library. Hopefully the new BOD will make further improvements to the library…It seriously needs some..What about some new air-conditioning, stricter rules and a computerized borrowing/lending system..It helps improve the image of the library, at any rate. And get rid of the glass on the tables..It’s cracked, and I got cut by the &^$& thing.

I managed to study some History, so I can’t say the hours were wasted. I bet no one’s gonna be at school tomorrow, I’m gonna be one heck of lonely. Well then, more hours of solitude. Which also means probably more studies getting done( I pray feverently for this to happen every day)

right then. on with business.

Gimp and Moopy

Today I was at the library, and while I was flipping through an Oxford dictionary I found this loose sheet of paper sticking in it. This was what was printed on it:

Gimp and Moopy were ackles. One tragfen Gimp and Moopy were brooching quassed. Moopy poated one of Gimp’s frapers because il couldn’t scrop ils. Gimp powed,”Comp ap my frapers!” But Moopy couldn’t come ho to ilt. So Gimp sworched Moopy and the ackles conbreted to squit. then, Armp deperted into the slep. Il taupled both of the ackles, and luped em off to edsen.

Ideas anyone?

This one probably raised the eyebrows of those who read it…about 5 people. Then proceeded to doing more math homework…I hate technical drawings.It’s so damn tedious. Moreover, one mistake means dunking the entire sheet of paper(now crumpled) into the bin. I cringe at the thought of the countless papers sacrificed for this lost cause.

Fuuh~~59 pages to the end of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ book. XD. Now what do I read after this?


whoa…aiori’s blog shocked me. I didn’t know her feelings for Lacan were that deep. Something that I’d like to experience(I think?Maybe not.) at least once. IMO, love(the lover’s kind) is one of the things that make or break a person. It’s an obsession. I can’t really say that I never in my entire life fell in love, but I never thought that me liking anyone would get anywhere..So I sort of forgot about it in time. I think a day or two did the trick quite well.

Speaking about the school prom, I guess I’m not partnering to go with anyone. Me and reeis will be some of the mad hobos chasing after the food, getting drunk, laughing mad or something along those lines. XD. I lightly touched the subject while conversing with my mom, and she, with great enthusiasm told me to go for it~~That’s something I didn’t expect. Now comes the fun( or so I think) part: getting the outfit and accessories. Won’t be anytime soon though, since exams are round the corner.

Today is hot. Hot, hot hot! I finally gotten off my lazy bum to go and study. Well, a start is a start. Next to me is a cup of Slurpee(registered trademark of 7-11), cold and icy. huuuuu~~XD but it’s apple flavoured, so it tastes a li’l weird. Still used to pina colada I guess.

the weekend approaches

I’m happy cause it’s friday! Friday is a time for rejoice, a time to remember that when cloudy skies come it will eventually go and bright sunny skies reappear once again.

^_^ I love the suikoden series, but sadly I only got the opportunity to play one, which is suikoden II. Now that suiko4’s out, I’ll wait for the english one and play it. At the end of the year, that is. The main chara for suikoIV looks girly, but I guess that’s what majority of japanese like. Girly-guys and lots of fanservice. I don’t know how it works but it seems that this kinda thing gets alot of people heated up, guys and girls alike..I’m not one of those, thankfully.

Today I updated again reeis’ story..I don’t know how it’s gonna turn out in the end but at curent things are very weird…and icky. We(aiori,me,reeis) turned the ‘coolest’ character there into some touchy-feely guy…UGH. Let’s hope something good happens…At this rate it could turn into a disaster.

my haircut sucks.I hope my hair grows faster.

I had a haircut, and the truth is: it sucks. I never thought I’d give that much a damn about it, but it really does. When I came out of the shop I felt that this was the worst thing that coulda happened to me. My brothers laughed at me, and that was when I really couldn’t take it. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, so I cried in the open. After that they were trying to console me. Now when I think about it I probably felt humiliated.

My mood didn’t change when I went to school this morning either..I could feel the snickers from behind my back and the stifled gasps of laughter. I felt that people were trying not to offend me by saying it(the cursed crappy haircut) suited me. I really couldn’t face society looking like a disaster from the 60’s. So I wandered aimlessly around the school during recess, hoping that I wouldn’t see anyone and vice versa.

Then later when I faced reeis and aiori I felt so stupid..and guilty. Guilty for being so outwardly cold towards them. Stupid for the sake of my haircut.

Now that I’m home and shielded from the world by four cement walls, I feel better for the fact that noone can laugh at me. And now I have a cold which is blocking my ears, feel a bit whoozy cause I haven’t had my lunch.

fingers fly, thoughts wander

Aiori didn’t come to school yesterday..So I didn’t get my Famous Amos.Damn.But I guess it’s good that her throat got the better of her. She should take a rest, she looked really terrible and kept on insisting she was fine..I hope she’s feeling better now, and will come back to school on Monday.I felt sorta guilty cause I didn’t call. Maybe will do so later today.

Ate my lunch on the way to the airport to pick up my relatives. Was an interesting experience as it was my first time eating soup noodles in a car in my school uniform. Good thing I didn’t spill any if not my dad would probably explode.

Shortly after we took a short break and I got a change of clothes we went shopping. I’m not one to shop but I did, after much pestering from alot of people. I bought a skirt. People who know me will raise eyebrows and stare like I’ve finally decided to submit to cocaine. And I finally managed to buy the book ‘One Hundred Years of Solitude’.Yay~also means I don’t have to depend on the copy at the library anymore. I read some more to discover Macondo is turning upside down and inside out by a whole gang of weirdos that fall into the abyss of death just looking at Remedios the Beauty. It’s just a title but man she’s one weirdo…She’s so simple and so backward that I’m surprised she actually came about to live her life for so long and not get tainted by life’s worst experiences.So there.

one hundred years of solitude

Attendance rate was low in class today..Wanted to skip school altogether but knowing my parents it’s just about as good as asking permission to jump a cliff.

Was reading One hundred years of solitude written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in class, since I couldn’t be bothered to study..And yes, that’s a bad habit.I also don’t know how many weeks it’s been since I first read,and the thing is it’s not really thick but why the hell am I taking so long to finish the book?

The names in the novel are so few,but I was confused cause so many people of the Buendia family have the same name, it drives me nuts trying to remember who they’re talking about. Four generations of the same bunch of names and nearly identical characters to the previous generations definitely will drive you up the wall. So far I think Ursula Buendia is the most sensible and practical character, which is probably why she lived to see four generations come and go. Sounds like she’s gonna go down under pretty soon, with eyes nearly blinded by cataracts and leathery skin. Then again, she contradicts herself with the eternal mourning rule in the house.Weird, and yet I like this book. Makes me curious to read more. I knew I should have snitched the book home..for the day anyway.

I enjoy the silence and solitude whenever I can, which is probably why I like sleeping. Escaping the troubles of the present day and time to an infinity of adventure. Throughout whole day I look forward to going to sleep.To lash my fear and anger at the unknown,, to cry in anguish of the present day, to go on adventures unreal enough to be real and yet in all the action to find solace, to gain courage, to be human in a dream.Then again I remind myself that I live a life to experience what I have yet to discover, so I wake to a new day and hopefully do what I set out to do.

lomography and fried maggi…..

…..mix like orange and blue.It’s an acquired taste~

After school I went to pick up my photos clicked via lomo.There was one that I particularly liked, and the ironic thing is, I didn’t take it.sigh.Oh well.Anyway, I’m still practicing, so bring on the film.I uploaded it into my lomohome too..go check it out.

My cousin and my aunt are coming on Friday, and dad says I can go pick them up after school too~!Yay!Means my dad gets to pick me up from school.It’s a rare occasion to get anyone pick me up from school at all.So yeah, I like the idea.Along with my cousin comes a whole stash of anime**drool**that I’ve been waiting for..cause I can’t buy the DVDs, and anyhow the subs suck.No way I’m gonna waste that money on something that may as well ruin the whole thing.

Stayed up last night doing stupid biology homework, but I ended up rushing the entire thing in school, and finished in record time(with help from friends in drawing graphs and labeled pictures cause the chemistry teacher didn’t come to class XD).Phew.

I want an iPOD.Currently listening to takaoka ai – hikari to kaze to kimi no naka de.Now I should practice on my piano..the only FF piano piece I can play properly is Blue Fields -FFVIII.Now working on Tidus’ Theme – FFX and Eyes on me – FFVIII.So far the FFVIII Piano Collection is the easiest, FFIX the hardest,FFX the most relaxing,FFX-2 the most finger-flying(even though the book’s not out yet) and FFVII the weirdest-sounding one.

personal hopes for the moment(16:41:07):wishes for self to buck up and go study