I don’t think I did very well today.

I just let Feebs know everything that was on my mind. About the work that needs doing, and the massive scale of it just overwhelmed me to the point of pessimism. It’s a project that I finally have the clearance to work on, but the expectation is just unreal, I still feel it’s kinda unreasonable. But the way she worded it sounded somewhat plausible, if not optimistic. I’m just being too cautious here, I don’t think it’s good to be so enthusiastic about something that may just be shot down at a moment’s notice. But what other options do I have?

I think I still resent the fact that we only do things when we are pushed to the brink of desperation. It’s such bad foresight that now everything seems to hang on this being successful, and we’re doomed if it doesn’t work out. I think I still feel bitter about that, because it really could have been prevented a long time ago. Maybe it was my folly for not pushing this through enough. But I suppose, better late than never.

I’m not really happy working here any more. Everyone’s changed around me, I suppose it’s the way people cope with things. But with that change comes a distance. And I’m losing almost everything that I once loved and admired about it. But there’s nothing I can do. Is it time to give up and leave?

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